Taxicab Kvetchfessions

I needed a cab last night. Some friends and I were going to a concert at the Henry Fonda Theater, about a six minute drive from my place. So everybody came over, and I called for the cab. I use them all the time, so they have my info. The operator told me it would be five to fifteen minutes, like they always do.

About seventeen minutes later, the cab still hadn't come. This struck me as unusual, because they rarely even take the minimum five minutes to get a cab to my place. So I called back. The operator asked for my info, looked up my order, and told me it would be another five minutes. Fine. Whatever.

After almost another ten minutes, still no cab. At this point I was starting to get pret-ty kvetchy, as you can imagine. I called back, and the guy answering the phone identified himself as Operator 17. "Hello Operator 17. I called for a cab almost a half an hour ago. I want to make sure it's still coming."

Again, he took my info, then gave me this bit of nonsensical information: "Oh, no driver has picked up the order yet."

"What?"

Operator 17 started explaining to me the elaborately complex system his company used, whereby orders placed for cabs are subsequently claimed by drivers, or contracted out to bidding drivers, or some such stupidiocy I had no interest in learning about.

"I don't understand what you're saying," I said. "Is there a cab on the way to my house or not?"

Unfortunately there was not, he said. Somehow, somewhere along the line, this foolproof system had broken down. Additionally, he had no idea when a cab could get to me. "But...but the last guy I talked to told me a cab would be here in five minutes," I protested.

"I don't know why he would have told you that," Operator 17 said. Awesome. I hung up.

It never ceases to appall me how little some companies have their shit together. Your whole business is sending cabs to people who call for them. How can you be 1) so incompetent at doing that, and 2) so matter-of-factly unapologetic when you screw it up, angering and inconveniencing a loyal customer?

So I ended up driving us to the show. As I pulled into the $20 parking lot, I got a call from the cab company, saying my taxi had arrived. Very good, I thought, as I clicked "ignore." Hopefully he'll sit outside my house for awhile before he realizes we're not coming down.