A Literal Obituary

As we gird ourselves for another Mid-East war, few of us realize that another war was recently lost. It was a war of words, a war on a word, a word I tried to do my part to protect. But alas, the war is lost. The word has died.

Google's definition for the word "literally" has been updated to include this secondary interpretation:

used for emphasis or to express strong feeling while not being literally true.

To simplify, "literally" now means "not literally."

Following suit, the Miriam-Webster and Cambridge dictionaries updated their definitions similarly. I find this very sad, and somewhat shameful. I understand the argument that in many cases, dictionaries simply reflect the language of the day. Words come in and out of common usage; that's how new definitions of, say, "tweet" or "douchebag" end up making it into our trusty word-defining tomes.

But this strikes me as a capitulation. People have been using the word "literally" incorrectly, so incorrectly as to be the opposite of what it actually means. And because of that pervasive misuse, the standard bearers of language legitimacy have kowtowed and deemed its incorrect use is now correct. It's as if the Chicago police department said "You know what, fuck it. Murder's legal now."

If this is how we're going to treat language, then "alright" should officially be a correct spelling of "all right." Most people probably think it is, anyway. There should be no official distinction between "your" and "you're," or "its" and "it's." Soon, words will cease to have any true meaning, and we'll be doomed with deadly misunderstandings.

It may seem like a small issue, but this sets a dangerous precedent: if society does things badly long enough, rather than correct the bad behavior, just label it "good" instead.

I'm going to go literally blow off some steam. And there's no telling what I actually mean by that.