There's this one Family Guy episode where Peter Griffin keeps getting tricked into thinking a movie's starting by those little moving logos every production company uses these days:
I'm a little embarrassed to admit that this actually happened to me yesterday. I was on an airplane, and decided to watch Woody Allen's latest, TO ROME WITH LOVE (because I supposed an airplane was probably the only venue in which I'd end up watching it). Prior to the opening credits, on a black screen, up faded the definitions of the words "Captive" and "Entertainment." You know, like this:
1. the act of entertaining; agreeable occupation for the mind;diversion; amusement: Solving the daily crossword puzzle is anentertainment for many
I'm a little embarrassed to admit that this actually happened to me yesterday. I was on an airplane, and decided to watch Woody Allen's latest, TO ROME WITH LOVE (because I supposed an airplane was probably the only venue in which I'd end up watching it). Prior to the opening credits, on a black screen, up faded the definitions of the words "Captive" and "Entertainment." You know, like this:
cap·tive
[kap-tiv]
noun
1. a prisoner.
2. a person who is enslaved or dominated; slave: He is the captive ofhis own fears.
en·ter·tain·ment
[en-ter-teyn-muh nt]
noun
2. something affording pleasure, diversion, or amusement,especially a performance of some kind: The highlight of the ball was an elaborate entertainment.
3. hospitable provision for the needs and wants of guests.
4. a divertingly adventurous, comic, or picaresque novel.
I started reading these definitions, because more than a couple movies start this way. I assumed these two words were integral to the film's story. But before I could finish, the definitions faded to a logo:
Man, did I feel dumb. Behaving like Peter Griffin is not a great indicator of intelligence. But here's the thing: I don't think this was really my fault. Because never in my life have I witnessed something so utterly condescending as a company providing its customers with dictionary definitions of the words used to make up its name.
I mean, come on. Maybe you could get away with this if your company was called, I don't know, "Biblioklept Pictures" ("biblioklept" being Dictionary.com's "word of the day" today - it means a person who steals books). But "Captive Entertainment"?!? Those are not words that need to be defined for your average American moviegoer.
Or maybe they do, who knows. I've seen Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. All I do know is, when life starts imitating satirical cartoons, something's gone too far.
