I wanted to say that about a hundred times today. Every religion has its ridiculous customs. Jews are absolutely no exception. No pork? Are you kidding me? I've always said that if God himself asked me to choose between Judaism and pork, it wouldn't even be close. Bacon provides me infinite more fulfillment and inner solace than religion ever could.
But the stupidest tradition has to be walking around with a black, smudgy cross on your forehead all day long. I walked from my apartment down to the Empire State Building today, passing dozens of Ash Wednesday observers. Otherwise normal people, in normal clothes, walking around New York doing normal things, save for a huge, unsightly smear across their foreheads. They looked like extras from an exorcism movie.
I've never really noticed this practice before today, probably because I've never lived in a place where I'm amongst so many people all the time. But man, it's really a weak look. How can you expect to be taken seriously in a Starbucks or a business meeting or something when everyone is staring at you like you just tripped facedown in the dirt?
The only time I spoke to an ashhead was the woman selling the tickets at the Empire State Building. She told me admission was $22 to go to the observation deck on the 86th floor, or, for another $15, I could go another 16 stories up, to the 102nd floor. I asked her if it was worth the extra $15 to go higher.
"Well, it's a height thing," she said. "One is 16 floors higher, encased in glass."
"I understand," I said. "But in your opinion, is it worth the money for the better view?"
"It all depends on how high you want to be," she replied unhelpfully.
"You're really selling it. I'll just do the normal admission," I concluded. It was all I could do to resist licking my thumb, reaching under the glass and wiping that shmutz off her face.
Tune in tomorrow to hear about the weird scene I encountered up on the observation deck.
But the stupidest tradition has to be walking around with a black, smudgy cross on your forehead all day long. I walked from my apartment down to the Empire State Building today, passing dozens of Ash Wednesday observers. Otherwise normal people, in normal clothes, walking around New York doing normal things, save for a huge, unsightly smear across their foreheads. They looked like extras from an exorcism movie.
I've never really noticed this practice before today, probably because I've never lived in a place where I'm amongst so many people all the time. But man, it's really a weak look. How can you expect to be taken seriously in a Starbucks or a business meeting or something when everyone is staring at you like you just tripped facedown in the dirt?
The only time I spoke to an ashhead was the woman selling the tickets at the Empire State Building. She told me admission was $22 to go to the observation deck on the 86th floor, or, for another $15, I could go another 16 stories up, to the 102nd floor. I asked her if it was worth the extra $15 to go higher.
"Well, it's a height thing," she said. "One is 16 floors higher, encased in glass."
"I understand," I said. "But in your opinion, is it worth the money for the better view?"
"It all depends on how high you want to be," she replied unhelpfully.
"You're really selling it. I'll just do the normal admission," I concluded. It was all I could do to resist licking my thumb, reaching under the glass and wiping that shmutz off her face.
Tune in tomorrow to hear about the weird scene I encountered up on the observation deck.
KEEP THE FAITH!!
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