Parking Garage Etiquette

Some of you may have never parked in a parking garage before. Apparently I have a lot of Asian readers; maybe they don't have parking garages over there. I don't really know. Let me explain to you how it works.

In my car, I enter the parking garage. Almost immediately, I get stuck in a long line of other cars, which are all stopped, because the car at the front of the line is waiting for someone to exit their space, so that they can take it. The person in the car in said space, however, has decided, upon getting into their car, that now is the best time to do anything other than leave their space.

I don't exactly know what this person is doing while not pulling their car out. Maybe they're texting. Maybe they're masturbating. Maybe they're sitting and staring straight ahead, contemplating how meaningless their life is. It doesn't really matter, because whatever it is, this person is oblivious to the fact that there are ten people sitting and waiting and having their time wasted behind them, their collective patience rapidly running low.

At this point, it's only a matter of mere moments before I slam my forehead against my steering wheel, causing my horn to blare unendingly, until this time-burglar realizes they are nothing more than a nuisance to the human race, puts their car in reverse, backs out of the space, and exits the parking garage. Now, at long last, the car at the front of the line can replace them, the line can proceed, and the cycle repeats when the new space occupier returns to their car later.

You are now prepared to park in a parking garage.