Stripper Follow-Up

As I am wont to do after being slighted, I sent Michael, the proprietor of RisqueKitty.com and World's Worst Pimp, an aggrieved email detailing my experience with him and his company. Here is our correspondence, with his misspellings left intact to further demonstrate his level of retardation:

Subject: Thanks for Nothing
From: Ethan Furman <ethanfurman@gmail.com>
Date: Fri, October 02, 2009 4:55 pm
To: info@risquekitty.com

Attn: Michael

You'll be happy to know you completely ruined my gift to my friend for his 30th birthday. Instead of waking up to a topless girl giving him a lapdance, he woke up to me handing him a shot of vodka. Why? Because you assured me it was "no problem at all" to have one of your girls come to his house this morning at 9AM.

What happened when she didn't show? You implied it was my fault for even making such a request, saying "you had a 50-50 shot of this happening anyway since it's so early." Oh really? That would have been helpful information to give me when I confirmed with you that the girl would be there. I would have gotten someone else to do it.

Instead, you ruined everything with your incompetence. Being completely unapologetic on top of it was a nice touch. You're a shitty company, and I'll do my best to make sure people don't use you.

E

Michael's Response:

From: "Risque Kitty" <info@risquekitty.com>

Date: Mon, 05 Oct 2009 11:03:39 -0700

To: Ethan Furman<ethanfurman@gmail.com>

Subject: RE: Thanks for Nothing

Thanks for those nice woods of encouragement. I too wish you the best of luck with your business as well. Fortunately for me Ive been in business for 11 years and plan on at least another 20 years to go. So good luck at bad mouthing me and my company.

Did you give your friend a lap dance since he didnt get one from the girls??? just curious.......I hope he liked his shot!!

Best Regards,

Michael
(818) 723-3870
risquekitty.com

My Response to His Response:

Subject: Thanks for Nothing
From: Ethan Furman <ethanfurman@gmail.com>
Date: Fri, October 05, 2009 12:13 pm
To: info@risquekitty.com

Your arrogance is disappointing. I'm somewhat shocked at your complete lack of apology over a situation in which you completely failed to deliver your service to a paying customer. It must be these stellar skills that have kept you in the whore business an impressive 11 years. You're a regular Donald Trump.

I get it. Your coke-addicted employees are strippers who can't be relied on to get up in the morning and be somewhere on time. Just don't be such a prick when you're clearly in the wrong.

Michael's mind-numbingly idiotic response:

Subject: Thanks for Nothing
From: info@risquekitty.com
Date: Wed, October 07, 2009 4:35 pm
To: ethanfurman@gmail.com

Apology? for what? did you pay any money? NO! did they arrive? NO! Are they coke addicts? NO! Are you a moron? YES We have a winner you are definately a moron! What have you won? A jerk off session with your friend!. Hope it was a good one. your the frickin prick who showed up with a bottle of vodka to your friends house and had a circle jerk session not me.

Best Regards,

Michael
(818) 723-3870
risquekitty.com

My (hopefully) concluding response:

Subject: Thanks for Nothing
From: ethanfurman@gmail.com
Date: Wed, October 07, 2009 5:45 pm
To: info@risquekitty.com

This email is too stupid to even respond to. I hope something truly terrible happens to you.