Monday, June 25, 2012

Nipple of My Eye

I just had afternoon drinks with a friend, saying our goodbyes as I get ready to move back to Los Angeles next week. When I came out of the restaurant to walk home, I saw a beggar on the sidewalk, sitting and holding her toddler. She was probably mid-30's, her child about one. She was holding a cardboard sign, asking for money.

If you've read this blog before, you may know that I am no fan of begging vagrants. I believe people should have the dignity to offer something - even if it's just telling a joke - in return for money, rather than just ask for it outright from strangers because they are destitute. In addition, there are simply too many of them on the streets of New York City to accommodate them all. If you decide you're going to be the type of person to give spare change to every homeless person you pass by, you'll go broke pretty fucking quick.

But I had just had a couple glasses of wine, and the baby kind of got to me, so I pulled out my wallet and took out a dollar. I walked up to the woman and handed her the money. And as she leaned forward to take it from me, her loose-fitting shirt fell forward, and...I saw her nipple.

I'm not really sure if I'm a believer in karma or not, but that's about the strongest case the universe has ever made to me in favor of it. Give a homeless lady a dollar, see her nipple in return. That seems like a pretty balanced cosmic equation.

The lord works in mysterious ways.

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