Curiosity finally got the better of me, and I watched that gruesome, SE7EN-esque video of the Montreal porn star murdering his boyfriend. Out of everything I felt while watching, the overwhelming sentiment I experienced was...frustration.
Why is it that whenever anybody posts a grisly video to the internet, the quality is always so poor? You can barely make out which body part this guy is severing (and then using to masturbate with)! Don't they have iPhones in Canada?
It's not just this guy. When they hung Saddam Hussein, the picture quality was abysmal. You would think somebody would have thought to bring a slightly more state of the art piece of technology than a first edition BlackBerry to such a momentous occasion. Same goes for Gaddafi's demise. Please, Arab Springers, I beg of you: invest in a Sony Handycam and find an amateur filmmaker to bring along the next time you hunt down and execute your brutal dictator. You'll get a lot more hits on YouTube.
But this Montreal guy is really inexcusable. You go through the whole rigamarole of killing your boyfriend, hacking him up and performing sex acts with his corpse, then post the video to the internet to immortalize your legacy, and it looks like crap? Look, I'm not condoning murder, but if you're gonna do it, do it right.
Like this. This is a video I shot with my iPhone of me murdering an apple:
See? Clear as day. And now it's on the internet forever, a testament to my greatness. You're welcome, future ice pick murderers.
Why is it that whenever anybody posts a grisly video to the internet, the quality is always so poor? You can barely make out which body part this guy is severing (and then using to masturbate with)! Don't they have iPhones in Canada?
It's not just this guy. When they hung Saddam Hussein, the picture quality was abysmal. You would think somebody would have thought to bring a slightly more state of the art piece of technology than a first edition BlackBerry to such a momentous occasion. Same goes for Gaddafi's demise. Please, Arab Springers, I beg of you: invest in a Sony Handycam and find an amateur filmmaker to bring along the next time you hunt down and execute your brutal dictator. You'll get a lot more hits on YouTube.
But this Montreal guy is really inexcusable. You go through the whole rigamarole of killing your boyfriend, hacking him up and performing sex acts with his corpse, then post the video to the internet to immortalize your legacy, and it looks like crap? Look, I'm not condoning murder, but if you're gonna do it, do it right.
Like this. This is a video I shot with my iPhone of me murdering an apple:
See? Clear as day. And now it's on the internet forever, a testament to my greatness. You're welcome, future ice pick murderers.
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