Dear Begging Vagrants,
Just a couple tips for you riff-raffians begging for money on the streets of New York:
1. Come up with something a little more original than just standing there and shaking a crumpled coffee cup at people. I get that you're inherently lazy, or brain-dead, etc., and that you're just trying to do the minimum to garner whatever coinage you can from the thousands of people walking past you on Fifth Avenue during this busy holiday season. But you have to understand that you have a lot of competition. There are a lot of you characters out there, and that's in addition to the Salvation Army people who are asking for money for a real charity. You can't expect people to be walking around with enough goodwill and spare change for all of you.
Try standing out a little bit. Make a funny sign, learn a magic trick, do some sort of a jig. Offer something in return for people's money. This sort of entrepreneurial spirit is what normal people do to get ahead in society. It can work for you too.
2. You gotta meet me halfway. Just this morning, I passed by a begging vagrant limply holding out a cup. As I walked by her, I looked down and noticed no less than four pennies on the ground within ten feet of her. Are you kidding me, vagrant? You're asking me for money, and you're too lazy to pick up the coins laying on the street right next to you? You're just insulting the world at that point. Incensed, I myself picked up the four cents, walked over to her and held out my palm. "These were laying right here on the ground," I said. "And now they're mine." I put the money in my pocket and walked away. I hope my point was well received.
Anyway, that's all for now. I'll deliver more pointers as I see fit. Merry Christmas.
Love,
KK
Just a couple tips for you riff-raffians begging for money on the streets of New York:
1. Come up with something a little more original than just standing there and shaking a crumpled coffee cup at people. I get that you're inherently lazy, or brain-dead, etc., and that you're just trying to do the minimum to garner whatever coinage you can from the thousands of people walking past you on Fifth Avenue during this busy holiday season. But you have to understand that you have a lot of competition. There are a lot of you characters out there, and that's in addition to the Salvation Army people who are asking for money for a real charity. You can't expect people to be walking around with enough goodwill and spare change for all of you.
Try standing out a little bit. Make a funny sign, learn a magic trick, do some sort of a jig. Offer something in return for people's money. This sort of entrepreneurial spirit is what normal people do to get ahead in society. It can work for you too.
2. You gotta meet me halfway. Just this morning, I passed by a begging vagrant limply holding out a cup. As I walked by her, I looked down and noticed no less than four pennies on the ground within ten feet of her. Are you kidding me, vagrant? You're asking me for money, and you're too lazy to pick up the coins laying on the street right next to you? You're just insulting the world at that point. Incensed, I myself picked up the four cents, walked over to her and held out my palm. "These were laying right here on the ground," I said. "And now they're mine." I put the money in my pocket and walked away. I hope my point was well received.
Anyway, that's all for now. I'll deliver more pointers as I see fit. Merry Christmas.
Love,
KK
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