Time-Warner, I Miss You

Never, ever, ever would I have believed that I would yearn for the days of Time-Warner cable. But I have found a more frustrating cable company, and its name is RCN here in New York.

It began when the cable guy first came to install my cable. My roommate Rob had not yet moved in, and he was bringing his TV, but I wanted to have the cable hooked up and ready to go when he got here. The cable guy marches in, a stocky, goateed New Yorker, looks around and asks me in his thick NY accent, "Wheh's yeh TV, bro?"

"Oh, it's not here yet," I replied.

"Wheh is it?" he asked again, more pointed this time.

"Uh, it's actually in Virginia at the moment," I told him, not seeing why he needed to know this information.

He shook his head. "I ain't supposed to hook up the cable widdout a TV."

I shrugged my shoulders. "Well, I guess you'll just have to come back then." It was like he was trying to get me to admit I was hiding a TV, but I called his bluff. He backed down, peering around as if someone might be listening.

"All right. I'll hook up the cable. But I ain't s'posed to."

"Whatever you want to do, man."

So we got the cable, thanks to this gentleman's magnanimous nature. Then a couple weeks ago I got our first bill: $224.67. This includes $89.43 for our monthly rate, and $135.24 for our "Previous Balance." Being that it's our first bill, I'm not sure how we have a previous balance, so I did what anyone would do in this situation: ignored the bill and figured I'd deal with it later.

Well, I just got a message from RCN wanting to discuss my account, so I tried calling back. A recording told me the number I dialed was invalid. I checked it again. Dialed again. Invalid again.

I looked on the bill for the Billing Support number. Same number. For whatever reason, I dialed it again. Same result. I even dialed the Technical Support number. A different recording told me that number was also invalid. No further information was offered.

This is a new one for me. With Time-Warner, they keep you on hold for three days, but at least they acknowledge it's the right number. This bastard of a company just provides you with numbers that don't even go to anything. That's one way to cut down on your tech support payroll.

I guess I'll just keep putting this off until they call back. Although I'm a little worried: Curb Your Enthusiasm starts soon, and we don't have HBO.