How long have escalators been around? Hang on, let me Google it...
Ah, 1897. Well over 100 years. You would think that would be enough time for people to learn the social etiquette that surrounds this helpful invention. If you want to stand, stay to the right. That way, the people who aren't too lazy to move their legs, or who aren't riveted by this poor man's roller coaster, are free to walk on the left.
Just how inconsiderate and unaware of your surroundings do you have to be to get on an escalator in a busy subway station on which dozens of people are clearly standing on the right hand side, and then just plant yourself there on the left, creating a blockage of humans behind you too timid to even say excuse me? And then when someone does say excuse me, in an only slightly but appropriately sarcastic manner, you act surprised that anyone else could possibly exist anywhere in the world, and would want you to move your fat ass twelve inches out of their way.
It's 100 degrees here, people. You could literally boil blood.
Ah, 1897. Well over 100 years. You would think that would be enough time for people to learn the social etiquette that surrounds this helpful invention. If you want to stand, stay to the right. That way, the people who aren't too lazy to move their legs, or who aren't riveted by this poor man's roller coaster, are free to walk on the left.
Just how inconsiderate and unaware of your surroundings do you have to be to get on an escalator in a busy subway station on which dozens of people are clearly standing on the right hand side, and then just plant yourself there on the left, creating a blockage of humans behind you too timid to even say excuse me? And then when someone does say excuse me, in an only slightly but appropriately sarcastic manner, you act surprised that anyone else could possibly exist anywhere in the world, and would want you to move your fat ass twelve inches out of their way.
It's 100 degrees here, people. You could literally boil blood.
Dear Kaptain,
ReplyDeleteYour escalator kvetch is clearly valid.
However.
"It's 100 degrees here, people. You could literally boil blood."
Really? It would seem to me that, unless NYC operates within its own laws of physics, distinct from the rest of humanity and the universe, any potential blood-boiling at 100 degrees would be very much figurative.
I only bring this up because misuse of "literally" is, literally, exactly the type of thing I'd expect the Kaptain to Kvetch about.
Very truly yours,
A Concerned Reader
Dear Kaptain,
ReplyDeleteUpon further reflection, the possibility occurs to me that you may have intentionally misused "literally" in an ironic sense, to literally poke fun at people who misuse "literally". If that is the case, please accept my apologies for lacking the necessary wit to fully appreciate your Kvetch.
Still Very Truly and Literally Yours,
A Concerned Reader
Uh....yeah, that's what I meant! Fooled you!
ReplyDelete