Monday, September 19, 2011

Contagion

I just went to see a movie. Per usual, I stopped at the refreshments counter beforehand and got a small popcorn and small diet Coke. After I paid, as I was gathering my movie snacks, the young lady behind the counter - I believe her name was Jaeshida, if I'm recalling that correctly (which is coincidentally my great-grandmother's name) - said to me, "The garbage is behind you."

"Okay, thanks," I said. "Where's the butter?"

She pointed. "The butter's right there. The garbage is behind you."

"Great," I said. I went and buttered my popcorn, then turned to walk into the theater.

"Are you leaving this?" she called after me. I turned around. She was pointing to the counter, where there was sitting the crumpled up straw wrapper I had unsheathed from my straw and left there while I had been ordering, without it even registering as a thought blip on my brain radar.

"Yes...?" I said, kind of confused as to why she thought I might be taking it with me. She looked back down at the wrapper and scowled. And when I mean "scowl," it was a full on, corners-of-the-mouth-turned-down-frowny-face. There was disgust on her face, as if a homeless guy had just ejaculated on her toes.

That's when it hit me: she had repeated telling me where the garbage was because she had anticipated me leaving my straw wrapper there on the counter, dozens of seconds earlier in the conversation. In that instant I felt horrible. I apologized, grabbed the wrapper, threw it away, then apologized again. She smiled, satisfied, and told me to enjoy the movie.

Only a minute later, when I sat down, did I start feeling angry. How many times had I left a straw wrapper on any counter, let alone a movie theater refreshment stand, and not given it a second thought, because it's a totally acceptable thing to do? I just gave this girl $10.75 for popcorn and soda; I'm totally within my rights to leave my crumpled up smidgen of paper on the counter. What, should I not leave my garbage on the theater floor when I'm done? You want me to pick up all the popcorn I've dropped and throw that away too? Blow me.

Jaeshida may not enjoy picking up my straw wrapper and throwing it away. It may not be a dignified responsibility. But you know what? That's part of her job. You don't like throwing away people's refuse? Great. Then don't be a garbage man, don't work at McDonald's, and don't work behind the counter of a popcorn stand at a fucking movie theater.

1 comment: