Literally

Last night I was driving home from the Dodgers game, listening to the post-game report on the radio. The host was talking about one of the Dodger pitchers who's been having a rough year, and said, "He's literally been fighting for his life out there."

This is such a huge pet peeve of mine. The comedian David Cross does a bit on this, so I don't want to rip him off too badly. But it just drives me nuts how people so often not only misuse the word "literally," but use it in the exact opposite way that it's intended to be used.

When something happens literally, that means what you are saying actually happens. Word for word. If what you are saying doesn't actually happen, and you're just saying that to exaggerate a point, then it happens figuratively. NOT LITERALLY. Saying that it "literally" happens does not stress your point any better. It just makes you sound like an idiot.

For example, if you say "That movie made me so confused, my head literally exploded," then your head had better actually blown the fuck up.

And if you're on the radio, getting paid to say things I listen to, then that pitcher had better be fending off rabid tigers out there on the mound. Otherwise, he is in fact not literally fighting for his life. He is figuratively fighting for his life, literally fighting for his job, and I am quite literally changing the station.