Seriously, I'm Still Getting a Phone Book?

I just came home to find the new phone book sitting not only outside my door, but the doors of everyone else on my floor of my building. I took it inside and immediately threw it in the recycling bin. I mean, honestly, who uses a phone book anymore? If you open up a dictionary and look up the word "antiquated," you will see a picture of a phone book. (In fact, you might also see a picture of a dictionary, but the phone book is probably slightly more obsolete.) They don't even show people using phone books in movies anymore; you see people on pay phones more often.

I have no idea how the phone book company stays in business. Who is still advertising in them? I wouldn't know, because I haven't opened one in literally over five years. The phone book's primary users must be strictly old people, i.e., those who are frightened of the internet, and change in general. If they could only get over their phobia of technology, they would realize that every number in that cumbersome, inky book is just a click away. They wouldn't have to put any additional undue stress on their lower backs picking up that heavy directory - not to mention the strain on their eyeballs searching for those tiny listings. You have so little time left, old people - don't hasten your demise!

All I hear all day long is how we as a society should be more environmentally conscious. Go green and such. Hell, Obama's State of the Union address last night designated a big chunk towards the importance of clean energy, and the United States leading the world in climate change, blah blah blah. How about this for an idea: STOP LEAVING 2,000 PAGE BOOKS OF WORTHLESS PAPER OUTSIDE EVERY SINGLE CITIZEN'S DOOR EVERY YEAR!!!

And if geriatrics absolutely must have their phone books, then how about if the phone company asks people if they want one? That way, they don't have to go to the trouble of distributing the Most Useless Object I Can Imagine to 300 million people. Don't just assume that I don't have an online connection, or am a 6-year old who needs assistance reaching the cookie jar. Both of those are long shots.