D&B

Tonight I went to a birthday party at a Dave & Buster's, which for those of you unfamiliar, is a funzone: restaurant, bar, arcade.

I had my meal, went and played some skee-ball, then decided I was ready to go. So I took the prize tickets I had won to the little gift shop, selected a miniature mug I thought was cool, and took it to the counter to pay for it.

Thereupon, I was told I didn't have enough tickets to get the mug. It cost 270 tickets, and I only had 95.

"Okay," I said. "So how much money should I give you to make up the difference?"

I was then informed they didn't take money. Only tickets.

After a bit of a back and forth, I was asked if I'd like to speak to a manager. I said yes, in fact I would.

So a sharply dressed man comes out, shakes my hand, and asks what the problem is. I tell him I'd like to buy this little mug. He says you can't buy it unless you have enough tickets.

"Let me get this straight," I said. "You will not accept American money for this mug? How much could the tickets I don't have possibly be worth? Two dollars? Are you serious?"

"That's correct, sir."

"Well," I said. "I don't have another two hours to go play skee-ball and win tickets. So how about I just hand you $10 right now, and I'll walk out with this mug."

"I can't do that, sir. It's a strict policy."

I looked at him. "Really?" I asked. "It's a strict policy that you'll accept nothing besides worthless tickets, as opposed to actual money, for all the trinkets you have in this store?"

"That's correct sir."

I stared at him. Then I picked up the little mug from the counter. "What if I just walk out with this right now?"

"Then I'll have that security guard tackle you," he said, nodding towards a burly gentlemen.

 I looked over at said security guard. "Well, I don't want that," I admitted. "Tell you what. I'll be back. And I'm going to win those tickets and get this mug."

"All right. Good luck, sir."

I went back and started playing skee-ball again, but eventually just went and found a girl who gave me her tickets. And I got the little mug.

This country astounds me sometimes.